I am an introvert. This trait has created some difficulties for me in my career. The most serious problem surfaced a year or so after I was promoted to management. As with many managers, I was promoted not because of my superior leadership skills, but because I was committed to the company’s mission, I got results, and I had the best technical skills.
After becoming a manager, I continued to do what I did best, which was to solve technical problems. I avoided activities that made me feel uncomfortable, which included informally interacting with people. One day,
I received feedback from some direct reports. They essentially said, “You’re unapproachable and elitist. You think you’re better than we are.”
I couldn’t believe it. I thought they must be describing someone else. If anything, I’ve often felt inferior to others, particularly those who are comfortable in social settings. Instead of seeing my behavior for what it was— evidence of my shy and introverted nature—my direct reports interpreted it as evidence that I thought I was superior to them. Because their feedback was based on a misperception, I was inclined to dismiss it. In time I came to see that although their views of me were based on a misperception, those views were undermining our relationship and their willingness to give me their best efforts. The gift to me was discovering that people didn’t react to me based on how I saw myself—shy and introverted—but based on their perception of me—aloof and elitist.
We often hear the phrase, ‘Perception is reality,’ but not until this happened did I understand what that really means. Their perceptions of me were creating the reality of an ineffective team. If I wanted a different reality, one that involved an effective and collaborative team, I would have to change those perceptions. That would require me to get out of my comfort zone, spend more time interacting with team members, and sometimes talk about their personal interests. I will never be a charismatic leader, but because of that feedback I am a much more effective manager.
—Boeing Workshop Participant
What we learn from this case is that subjective perceptions, even when they’re inaccurate, are more powerful than objective facts in shaping behavior. To save his career, this leader had to discard the notion that facts are always more important than perceptions.